An unlikely encounter with a woman asking for charity on the Kotel stairs tonight. Listen here:

People seem to be interested in how I am doing, so I think I will start to use this blog as a forum.

Again, I can’t start before thanking all of you for your outpouring of support and for the incredible changes you are all making in your lives. I have never been more proud to be alive and to be a person. Look at what we can do! Look at how we can fly!

I have so much to give now that I am just trying to find a place or person or thing to put it in. A friend of mine just had her husband promoted to a job title that my husband formerly assumed. I pleaded with her to listen to me as to how to inspire and direct him. What to do to be successful. She said ‘look at you doing chessed for me, I should be doing for you’. I said my husband died – not me. If I shut off the giving valve, I will also die. Of course I am so much in need – love, attention, to be told that I look beautiful, a loving father who will wrestle and throw the kids around, who will listen to my petty complaints and put me back straight in line with avodas Hashem. A shoulder to lean on. My friends and community have filled in many of these holes, but let’s face it, no one is Aba and ever will be.
That lack will always remain and eventually be filled with more wisdom, and a deep yearning and closeness to my Maker which will push me closer to Him. Isn’t that what it is all about? To leave ourselves behind and bask in the glow of the Almighty. What could be more beautiful?

With blessings from Jerusalem,

Broken-hearted and whole,
Batya

If you haven’t already heard, I am saddened to tell you that my husband and founder of Western Wall Prayers drowned in the Mediterranean last week on his 40th birthday. According to the Torah, when a person dies on their birthday, it is a sign that they have completed their work in the world. This Aish.com article about his life gives more details about his greatness. I plan to write much more in the coming months. I plan to continue in his ways. I pledge to do more and to give more to others around me. I am told we have extra siyata dishmaya (heavenly assistance) now to help you. May you be blessed that all of our prayers for you are now answered…

– Batya